Out of Ze Boday!

Out of body experiences. Astral projection. You may have heard of it. The gist is that you get to a higher spiritual plane, and you get to leave your body and wander around as a spirit-type-deal. Very trippy.

It's actually a real thing though. Not in the spirit world, avatar-state way, but in an actual, brain-spaz type way. It's a little bit self-hypnosis, a little bit hypnagogia, stage 1-3 sleep.

See, if you want to have a certain dream badly enough, and you think about it all day, right up until you're about to fall asleep, chances are you will have elements of that dream. Particularly in the pre-deep sleep alpha-wave period, when you're not quite out yet.

Folk who have had these out-of-body experiences (or OBE's) tend to be in awe of how real they are. Yup. As a person who has a tendency towards some pretty legit hypnogogic hallucinations, I can vouch for the fact that that shit seems real. But that doesn't mean it IS real. If it was, then some pretty weird stuff has gone down in my room.

In sum, freaky stuff can happen when your brain feels chill.

P.S. Thanks to my madre for posing for me. You rock!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (until forever)

Lookitlookitlookit! This is GREAT!

Alright, you watch this video while I calm my glee:

Ok. So where do I even start. This is FANTASTIC. And I mean it's fantastic in the way that the original Batman live-action TV series was fantastic. You know when something is so bad it comes back around and becomes great? This is that.

The people talking in the background. Here's what they say:

Kid: "What is that?"

Man: "Woahhhh!"

Woman: "It is Bigfoot!"

Alrighty. This is what they would say in real life:

Kid: "What is that?!?!?!"

Man: "I dunno. A man in a King-Kong costume?"

Woman: "That's a little bizarre."

Man: "Yeah... Call the cops."

Which actually would probably make a more entertaining video. What's also great is that it looks like it was filmed mid-seizure. They sound fairly calm. So, now, let me ask you this, if you saw a Bigfoot, and you had the peace of mind to go grab a video camera and "make history", wouldn't you make for damn sure that you got some good, solid footage? I know I would.

I also like that the various websites that have posted it all say something to the effect of "Could be real, could be fake. You decide." NO. That is not how it works. Something is either real or fake. YOU do not get to decide what is real. Leaving it open-ended like that just fuels people's irrationality and tendency to believe what they want to believe. It's just asking for trouble.

Ultimately what it comes down to is that this video is so clearly fake that it shouldn't be presented as anything other than fake. An entertaining fake, but still a fake. I mean really. We can do better, I'm sure.

Aw Hey Thur!

Yeah so I haven't posted in a little bit because I've been caught up in a storm of placement tests and all sorts of other malarky, but now I'm back! Not that anyone is reading this anyway. Ah well.

So here's the dealio. If you haven't heard, Earth has a buddy planet called Planet X, otherwise known as Nibiru (pretty, I may have to name my first-born daughter that), with which we are on a collision course. We know this because Madame Nancy Lieder (go to her website here) says that she has an alien implant in her brain, which lets her communicate with aliens in the Zeta Reticuli star system. These friendly folks let her know that Nibiru was going to take us out in 2003.

As I'm sure you know, that didn't happen. Even a little bit. So she was like "OOPS! Did I say 2003? I meant 2012." And now we're all doomed.

Except we're not because it's not true, because Nibiru doesn't exist. Astronomers have looked, and it's not there. Basically, if there was a planet hurtling straight for us, we'd know. If you would like a more comprehensive explanation of the "theory" and why it's not true, go to where I first got the story, at the NASA Lunar Science Institute.

ALL RIGHT.

I'm bored so I've been looking for something investigative like to do this summer. BUT THERE IS NOTHING. I don't mean that in the classic "there are no jobs sense" (although that is also true), I mean there is no middle ground.

The "believers" are all like "IT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN AN ALIEN" and the skeptics are all like "YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING AT ALL". Legit.

The problem is that the crazy folks' websites try to seem all reasonable, and then BOOM! Their files talk about regressing people, when everyone knows that memories "recovered" with hypnotism should be taken with a grain of salt at best. (If you don't believe me see Lynn, Lock, Myers, and Payne, 1997. Apparently they did a study. Which I cannot find at this moment because I rock at research.)

So I am VERY VERY bored and frustrated. It's like, if you already know all the answers, why do you bother with investigation? I am sad. Neither side is bothering to think. The skeptics tend to get away with it because they're generally right, but that doesn't change the fact that they approach their investigations already having decided what they're going to find.

It's like this: we have the believers who already know what they believe. Then we have the skeptics who only seem to want to prove the believers wrong. There's no one investigating with an open mind, not knowing what they're going to find.

Now that I'm done making huge generalizations and alienating myself from both sides of the issue, here's a picture of a unicorn:

Now Presenting... The Better Vishnu Naan!

I did it! Not bad, right? I should have more faith in myself.

Look at This!

What does that look like to you? I'll tell you what it looks like. It looks like a couple of UFOs. And they're not just UFOs, they look like flying saucers. Straight up. I didn't even photoshop it, I swear.

But (shockingly enough) they're not flying saucers. They're F-16 fighter jets. But they look pretty convincing, don't they? From this angle they're a dead-ringer, the trail behind them even fits. Imagine if you saw that on the horizon; if they were moving away or towards you they might stay at that angle for a while, you might not be able to tell what you were looking at. Just sayin'.

In the Name of Religious Equality...

Vishnu naan!


I realize that this is terrible, but it was wicked hot again today and I have places to be. Maybe I'll make it better later. But probably not. I hope the concept makes up for how little effort went into it.